Dear Weight Watcher of many years ago,
I think it has been so long since I truly addressed you that I have forgotten that you truly exist. So last night while rummaging through my closet for something to wear, I found signs that you were not a myth that I created and keep telling myself I used to be. No, you were a real person. I have the jeans to prove it.
Why, dear Weight Watcher, did you run away? Why did you leave those size 10s and opt instead for the size 18s that you are now? Is sugar that damn good. Well, yes, but is it worth it?
Did you ever think that when you were 24 that you would be a size 18? Did you ever think you would get to a size 18? Do you like saying you are a size 18? No, I didn't think so.
So would you like to come back, dear Weight Watcher of old? Will you please come back so that my grandmother will stop buying clothes for me and telling me that she bought that size because she was afraid it would shrink instead of just saying, I bought that size because you are that size?
All your old material is still hanging around the house and the office. It really is here, you just need to pick it up and start reading it again. I know it's been a while, but I need your help. I can't do this alone and I need that reminder of the size I was four years ago when I lost all this weight originally. I would like to be any size smaller than an 18 right now. I'll be thrilled with a 16 as of this point.
Plus, if you help me get smaller, dear Weight Watcher of old, it will cost us both less money on yarn to make things for us. We will be able to knit objects for the 6 skein size instead of the 8 skein size. We can spin a pound of roving instead of a pound and a half. Will you help me do this, Weight Watcher of old?
Today there will be cupcakes at SnB. I need your help, Weight Watcher of old. I need to only eat one cupcake, not 2 or 10. Please come back. I found your jeans, and your pictures are still on my desk, curled up in the arms of DBF. Look, there you are! Proof that you are not a myth! DBF has even seen you. Well, he's seen the size 12 you, but I think he would like to see the size 10 you as well! Come back and help me do this, dear old friend. I've got your jeans, and I've got your books, so now I just need your help.
The Weight Watcher of Now